Letters from a friend...hateful, hurtful, or what???

I email a friend to find out why I never hear from them. I email to check on them...no answer. I send cards for holidays (have been doing this for many years). Today I finally get a reply...ok, several. So, what am I to think? I am hurt and ready to just AVOID the whole world!!!! Ready to sink into a black hole, off into a cave...and avoid all people! What do you think? Am I over reacting? Do I have a reason to be hurt, upset?

Letter 1: Did you know that someone in my family actually died? Did you know I spent 1/2 a month in the psych ward of a hospital. Sorry if emailing wasn't on the top of my list. I have been through hell and back and I have not had time to talk to anyone. But thanks for being so supportive. I got zero card from you this year in the mail and as I said email has pilled up that I couldn't even check. You sent me that gift a long time ago and I did say thank you. I have done countless things for you and mac over the years but I do not throw them up in your face. Everytime I come to town I contact you and you are always sick or something and you get back to me after the fact. And I was replaced long before any of this with michelle. I don't have time for it. You were not interested in being my friend when you were with her. So whatever. This was the meanest thing I could of ever read going through the hell my family and I have been through. So thanks.
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My reply: That is BS. You were never replaced. You dumped me. You never talk to me at all so there was no way to know what is going on. Everytime I emailed anything at all I never knew if you got it. This wasn't meant to be mean. I have sent so many unanswered emails. I am sorry. I guess you are right I am a crappy friend.

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Letter 3: because it was plain and simple. I didn't have time to talk or email and I was depressed and when people get depressed they don't usually want to talk to people.You and M____ became friends LONG before any of that happened and so don't play that game with me. Fiurthermore it wouldn't matter anyway...we live 2 hours away from each other and I would expect you to have a close friend as did I around here but even those relationships came and went as I had LIFE to deal with.Email started piling up and I never really even cared because I had to deal with life and take care of my child. I work FULL time now for an insurance agent. I coach soccer. Do bible blast. Go to the gym and try to be a good mom. I fall apart at night because I am depressed and unhappy but that is it. I don't have time for crap and I do not have time for people who want to tell me I am a shitty friend.I am sorry that you think so little of me and I am sorry that I hurt you but I had to take care of me for a change. Everything else had to slide. I have not seen R____since the last time I called you. That proves the point that I just don't have much free time at all. We have hardly talked at all even through email. So that is that. Take it or leave it.

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Reply 2: I never meant to sound so mean. You have emailed me and said stuff that was hurtful. I feel pushed to the side. You have barely spoke to me in a few years. I sit and wonder what I have done that you should ignore me. I sit and wonder how you are doing, how K___ is, etc. I email to ask, sent stuff, etc....then nothing. Once in a while you im me...then I ask and you are so busy that I only get a sentence or 2 reply. I was not trying to hurt your feelings. I was not trying to be mean. I never replaced you. You rode out of my life but I still sat wondering what was going on. I still worried. I did send emails and cards. I always send cards for all holidays...you know that. I even emailed after the fact to see if you got anything...still no answer.You quit talking to me a long time ago. I would only hear anything when you came down. You have sent me many many hurtful emails. You have drug stuff up. I dont know what to say but sorry. If I had known anything was going on, you know I would have contacted you. Anyway, I am sorry I bothered you. I am sorry I wasn't there for you. I am sorry I hurt you.

Letter 4:
If you are going to accuse me of emailing you hurtful stuff then please produce it. At least from the last few years. Because I refuse to dwell on stuff that happened years ago. I am sure I could find things you did to me 2-3 years ago as well but I can hardly remember last week let alone last year. I find it funny that you are sitting here telling me that I have sent you plenty of hurtful emails and yet I wake up to this crap in my inbox.....and then you say I have hardly spoke to you in a few years. So which is it? Okay, so maybe way back when we were in COLLEGE I sent hurtful emails but not in the last 2-3 years. I've grown up a lot and seriously I would never send a hurtful email. People grow and change and sometimes move on. It is hard to keep a relationship going that are 2 hours away. I've lost friends who are 20 mins away because of schedules. I am NEVER online except at work and that is only to access email. If you noticed I deleted myspace and facebook a long time ago....because I do NOT have time.

Anyway, I always call you or email before I come to town. I always do and you put me off. And the thing is I was never mad that you were sick or you couldn't get together because M___ was working. I understood but don't say that I didn't call you. I come into town VERY few times a year now that I am so busy. I don't have time to take off at all.

I am sorry your life has been hell but I couldn't give you support you needed during your time of hell because mine was hell and still is but improving. I needed to focus all of my energy on me and my child. If you can't accept that then I'm sorry. Depression hit me hard and I blew everyone off and that is just how it was. I couldn't even hardly get out of bed let alone sit at a computer and email.

That is the thing...I don't think of you as a shitty friend. I think of you often and wonder what you girls are doing but then I remember all of the 10 million things I have to do. And yes I am hurt by this but I will get over it. Maybe one of these days I can get to *name of town* and we can all hang out but I can't give you a time frame.

(NOTE: I dont have those letters but had sent them to several people as well as showing one person to see if they read it like I did...they said it was worse.) Also, names were deleted for a reason.