Lessons in Life

Life is not fair. Life is not perfect. This is so that we learn from our mistakes. Ok, I get it. I have made my share of mistakes and have learned and grown from them.

Emotions are part of life. For some reason my genetic makeup (which sucks) gave me crappy emotions. I take things personally. I get hurt easy. I care about others. I dont like unhappy things. I like to be upbear and crazy rather than a downer. I dont always have a positive attitude.

It would be so nice to have an "I Dont Give a F___" attitude but that is not me. I would love to let things roll and say 'oh well'. I would love to be able to blow stuff off. I would love to not catch hell for the way I feel. I just cant change that.

I would love to act like a stone cold bitch who could care less about anyone or anything. That would be great sometimes. I cant turn my emotions and feelings off like a switch. I am stuck with them. At the same time, I like having feelings. I like caring, compassion, passion, etc. I was always taught to 'do unto others...' and I really try to do treat people the way I want to be treated. That is what makes me who I am.

I am giving and helpful. If I see a situation where I can help, I offer to help. If I see someone needs something, I try to help. It is nice when there is someone there to help when you need it. I try to be that sort of person. I try not to need help. I was taught that you can only depend on yourself, becuase nobody else will be there when you need it. I am always making things for others. I love making gifts that I know will make others happy.

That brings me to think that emotions and feelings dont matter. Nobody cares what you think, feel, etc. Nobody cares if you are hurt, sad, mad, etc. Nobody gives a F____!

So, why bother? Why should I care? Why should I feel bad when someone I cares about feels bad? Why should I care when someone I care about is hurt, sad, upset, sick, etc? Why should I care if nobody else cares? Why?

Because, that is who I am. I care, hurt, worry. I show compassion, passion, emotion. That is just who I am. I cant change that. Do I really want to? Then I would be somebody else.

I am alive. I am feeling. I am caring. I am giving. I am compassionate. I am nice. I am friendly. I am a people pleaser (that doesnt always happen but I try). I am alot of things. That is just who I am.

Peace...