My children

I have 2 chilren of my own but many others. Let me explain. Amber is my oldest daughter. She is an adult now and has a family of her own (husband and 4 children). I have not seen her in a very long time but she is still the love of my life. Mac is a teen, still lives at home and is also the love of my life.

Then there are my other children. I was a substitute teacher from 1993-2003. I went to college and got my degree in Education (graduated in May 1999). I am certified to teach K-8 grades as well as middle school science. I was a student teacher in 3rd grade in 1999. I actually spent more time with the children I student taught than any of the others that were in my group.

Dont get me wrong, some of the students would give me hell...while student teaching as well as when I was a substitute teacher. I was there pretty much every day during those years. Sometimes I would say no to working so that I could take my own children to dr and such....plus the time that Mac got chicken pox....I had to be home with her.

Anyway those children gave me love, tested me, made me work harder, made me care, gave me love and made me love, etc. This list could go on and on. They were and still are part of my world. I still think of each and every one of them. I still worry about them. There were some that needed pushing, some that I knew had more in them than others wanted to see. I only wanted the best for them and still feel that way today. When they hurt I hurt. Over the years I have kept watch over them even if they were not aware. I have kept in contact with many, have found many, and some are still my friends. Everytime something bad happens to one, it hurts me. Over time I have heard the good, bad and ugly with many of these children.

So, I just found out that one of these children has died. I have been a wreck since I heard this. This was one of my babies. These childrean are all my babies. I am shocked, saddened, surprised, numb. I feel for the family as I know the children in this family (most teens now) are close and are hurting...worse than I can even imagine. I feel so badly and can in my mind see each of their sad faces. It hurts. I know they hurt. The only good thing is knowing that this child is in a better place and is not suffering....the suffering is gone.

Life is too stinkin short! ! ! !